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Ruins my day. (10)
Mother-in-law – judging, criticizing, commenting, suggesting. Listen, don’t worry about how I do things, just buy the kids some gifts for Christmas and their birthdays and stay out of the TV room when any sporting event is on. Even Olympic qualifying swimming. Just stay away. I was never good enough, I don’t make enough money, I’m not smart enough, and I’m a bad dad. Life sucks for you, that’s why you were cursed with me. My first beer anywhere I am when I start drinking, is always dedicated to you.
Texting – when your daughter texts you from her room while you’re still in the house is when there is no hope. Every day, no matter where you are, people now have their heads in their phone texting, emailing, web surfing. No one puts their head up to see what the world looks like, you know the way humans used to act. I’m waiting for the “zap me out of existence” iPhone app.
When your English is so bad that my English is useless
Written by PsychoDadWhen your English is so bad that my English is useless – Look, we all come from immigrants and I love the diversity of our country and that is what makes us the greatest country in the world. But when I walk into your liquor store to buy a pack of cigs or gum or a fifth of the cheap stuff, don’t make the verbal exchange a challenge for me. Figure out what I’m trying to say.
PC Load Letter – Every office that I’ve worked in and every printer that I’ve ever been forced to use has this error. “PC Load Letter”. What do you mean and what do you want from me. Why can’t you just print what I want and leave me alone.
Half-Caff vente latte with whip cream and soy milk
Written by PsychoDadHalf-Caff vente latte with whip cream and soy milk – WTF??? Just order a coffee. When I go into corporate coffee to get my daily dose of black crap, I always get stuck behind “half-caff” guy. He has a very specific coffee drink that I don’t even think has coffee in it, and takes him 10 minutes to order and
Al Qaeda – Whenever I hear another story about these idiots, it simply ruins my day. These guys amount to nothing more than backwards, undersexed, ignorant sheep who follow a slightly less undersexed, ignorant leader to restore their once mighty kingdom and stop the West. Let me drop a bomb right now....
Teenage Drivers – Not because I hate tricked out, 4 cylinder rice rockets, or the ridiculous spoiler hanging off the trunk, or the annoyingly loud exhaust. But because you don’t know how to drive the damn thing. When you’re swerving through traffic because your time apparently is worth more than mine, you’re actually causing traffic you idiot. Stop driving all aggressive
Old Lady Drivers – Let me set the scene. You just made a right turn on a main drag and there is a fair amount of traffic. But you’re behind Mrs. O.L.D. (old lady driver). She’s driving a Buick, she’s got the granny glasses, church hat and no feeling in her right foot
Having to make small talk – On Monday morning when I walk into work and I know the shit storm is coming, I have 68 unread emails, my boss wants something, my secretary forgot something, my wife is pissed (I don’t know why yet b/c I haven’t received all the clues yet), my kid broke my power drill somehow AGAIN, and I’m slugging my way to my cubicle/workspace, and I have to walk by that guy with no life to get to my computer, I get hit with the bullshit conversation invite. “Hey man, did you watch the season finale of Lost” or
